old but new

 I decided to create a new blog for personal reasons, and when I created this one I was able to find all my own college blogs that mean so much to me. Win win.


I want a blog that I know no one is really reading because this is mostly for myself. I don't want to think about what lurkers will think, I don't want old friends judging me, I want to start completely fresh. So here we are. 


I just read a ton of my old posts from college with equal parts nostalgia and cringe. That poor girl, she was trying so hard. She was doing her best in the systems she found herself in. 


She was so loved by God. 


She sought him within the boxes handed to her despite Him not dwelling in them. He came in from the wild edges of the transcendent and let her find Him even with bad theology, legalism, and performance-based faith. He loved her so. 


She struggled, she writhed, she came out at the end with some problematic yet well-intentioned conclusions. He loved her. He healed her. He answered her. 


She made temples of God's presence right where she was - in crappy dorm showers, overheated practice rooms, 15 year-old cars. She cried to Him, screamed at him, smiled at Him, saw glimpses of Him. She worked too hard, slept too little, worried about unnecessary things. He loved her.


And He still does.

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