I know. I'm sorry.

I wasn't trying to turn into this.

There wasn't a light bulb moment

No switch flipped

Just a slow, holy burn.


I know you're horrified

You're worried

I'm going to hell

[which means you are, too]


You're wondering what went wrong

Can you change course?

Shift the trajectory?

Stop the slide

down the slippery slope?


I know what you think

Of people like me

Liberal. Watered-down. 

Easy Believism. 

No fear of God.

All love, no truth.

All grace, no wrath.


The truth is that wrath has already come for me

in a million little ways.

My fear of God is so big,

his boundlessness so wild,

That I no longer have the audacity

to peg Him down.

I no longer claim

to answer for Him.


Do you really think I'd wind up here

haphazardly?

You know who you are

How deeply you think

How much you care.

I am the product

Of your zeal,

your integrity,

your pursuit.


I won't try to convince you of anything

I won't argue theology or philosophy

I landed here after a decade of experiences 

And so will you.


So I won't explain my reasoning

Or my hermeneutics

I won't map out my logic

Except this:

His love which covers your current faults and flaws

Is also covering mine.


Does that put your mind at ease?

Do you even know what it feels like to be at ease?

You're trying so hard

To do it all right

To not Waste Your Life

To live Radical

To go all in.


You're so tired.

So guilt-laden.

Trying so hard

To do what they tell you.

To forsake it all for Him.


I just want to tell you

I don't think we're going to hell.

I love where we end up

I can't wait to see where we go.

We are loved

in all our extremes


I don't regret who you are.

And I will be waiting for you on the other side

with nothing but grace.




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