I know. I'm sorry.
I wasn't trying to turn into this.
There wasn't a light bulb moment
No switch flipped
Just a slow, holy burn.
I know you're horrified
You're worried
I'm going to hell
[which means you are, too]
You're wondering what went wrong
Can you change course?
Shift the trajectory?
Stop the slide
down the slippery slope?
I know what you think
Of people like me
Liberal. Watered-down.
Easy Believism.
No fear of God.
All love, no truth.
All grace, no wrath.
The truth is that wrath has already come for me
in a million little ways.
My fear of God is so big,
his boundlessness so wild,
That I no longer have the audacity
to peg Him down.
I no longer claim
to answer for Him.
Do you really think I'd wind up here
haphazardly?
You know who you are
How deeply you think
How much you care.
I am the product
Of your zeal,
your integrity,
your pursuit.
I won't try to convince you of anything
I won't argue theology or philosophy
I landed here after a decade of experiences
And so will you.
So I won't explain my reasoning
Or my hermeneutics
I won't map out my logic
Except this:
His love which covers your current faults and flaws
Is also covering mine.
Does that put your mind at ease?
Do you even know what it feels like to be at ease?
You're trying so hard
To do it all right
To not Waste Your Life
To live Radical
To go all in.
You're so tired.
So guilt-laden.
Trying so hard
To do what they tell you.
To forsake it all for Him.
I just want to tell you
I don't think we're going to hell.
I love where we end up
I can't wait to see where we go.
We are loved
in all our extremes
I don't regret who you are.
And I will be waiting for you on the other side
with nothing but grace.
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